I saw the Passion tonight, so that’s what this post’ll be about. In addition to it being an amazing film in respect to cinematography, it certainly had a spiritual effect on me. I won’t go into detail; I don’t feel like I’m fit to preach on a revelation that has perhaps not had time to fully unveil. Suffice it to say that as I finally left the theater–leaving my seat several minutes after the credits had stopped–I was rendered speechless. I couldn’t even lift my head for the shame I felt, much less express myself. In my head, I could only keep repeating, “He gave his life, and I can’t even give a day.”
I will elaborate on what caused such a breakdown for me. For those who have seen the film (and for those who have not seen it, I’m not spoiling it), you know how unbelievably atrocious the violence against Jesus is portrayed. It wasn’t until Mary runs up to Jesus carrying the cross that it hit me. Before that, the violence only made me recoil and squirm, thinking to myself, “Oh man. God really went through a lot for us.” But when Mary ran up to Christ, with the flashbacks of her running up to him as a child falling down, the total humanity of Jesus became a reality to me. I guess it was the mother-son connection that got me. At that moment I got a pinch of both the love and hurt that all those close to Christ had to feel. Not only was Jesus fully God and fully human, but He wasn’t the only one who felt the pain. The decision He had to make affected more than Him, and the connection to those around Him brought out the humanity of Christ even more so. As Mary knelt down, Jesus looked up from under the cross and said, “See Mother, I make all things new.” It was almost as if He were a kid reassuring his mother, “Don’t worry Mom, it’ll all be okay.” It was here that I began to cry.
From that point on, all the lashings and the crucifixion scene I saw from a different perspective–seeing just how human Christ was. Instead of recoiling and squirming in my seat, it all made me bawl like a wee child. You cannot know what my thought process was like during the last half of the movie until you have also seen it. Good thing I was sitting around all girls… oh wait… maybe not.
So if you wanna pray for me, here’s the big one: pray for a constant realization that it’s not all about me. I’m far too selfish, and that’s not Christ-like at all.
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