in medias res

Christians are constantly told that they need to be more tolerant. Our society tells us that if we’re trying to emulate Jesus, then we should be tolerant just like He was tolerant (which I would immediately disagree with–does a person tolerant of everything run into a crowded temple with a whip, driving everyone out and turning over tables? In fact, that sounds like a man who wouldn’t tolerate what he saw as disobedience. see John 2:14-16). This idea of Jesus most likely stems from ignorance—people have read selected verses about Jesus and formulate their idea of a bubblegum savior who floated and spoke in bed-time lullaby gentleness. After having read any of the Gospels in full, it would absolutely astound me that anyone should still have such a picture.

But I should return to the idea of being tolerant. One of the foremost hindrances in coming to the Christian faith is Hell. The question is almost always posed, “Why would a loving God damn people to Hell?” It doesn’t seem to me that God does condemn anyone to Hell. It seems to me that such an end result is naturally in store for us unless we are rescued from that awful fate. This is the way I imagine it, but if this does not assist you, then immediately throw it out. It is imagined by men, so it is surely drenched in error.

We were created to be heavenly beings with free choice (for what would their love for God signify if they did not choose to love Him?). But the existence of free will creates a problem. It naturally creates the possibility of evil, and that is just what man chose. Since The Fall, mankind has been in a state of disrepair and fully selfish in nature. Suppose the end is not death; what, then, happens to your soul? We were created to be heavenly beings, and that is where we should all like to go (whether we know it or not), but the problem is that we are not fit for such an existence. Do not fool yourself into thinking that you, for some reason, are an exception—this includes everyone. We must be transformed in order to enter such a place. So if we have not been made ready for Heaven, what should happen to our souls? Hell is the default; it is the only other option. It is not because God sees any one man as better than another, for we are all naturally Hell bound. It is those souls that have allowed Christ to remake them into what is acceptable in Heaven that end up in Glory, the rest go where the road naturally leads: eternal misery and torment in a wholly selfish environment. It is not as if God has banished mankind, we banished ourselves long ago.

Critics complain that such a doctrine is intolerant and unpleasant. I whole-heartedly agree that it is indeed intolerant and unpleasant. But I cannot write it off as untrue simply because something does not fit my liking. Neither do I like murder, rape, nor war, but I cannot write them off as false simply because I have never encountered them. I have been given reports, and these reports check out.

* For those who wish, or believe, that God should take pity on him when his time has come, he should read carefully John 3:14-21. It seems that God has already taken pity on us, and done what is necessary to save us.

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For those of you who enjoy an occasional Pablo in your life (I hope you know who you are), I’ve taken time out of my busy paper writing to zip up a little package of Pablo System Sounds for use on your computer–to replace that drab Windows standard briiiiiiiiiiiing! and his friends. No purchase necessary, just download here, and send your sweet lovin’ to Pembroke 219.

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I abhor them. Surely you do too (unless you’re the type to plaster them to the back of your bumper). Those little 3″ x 9″ pieces of heavenly vinyl that read, “Make your eternal reservations now— ’smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’?” What a wonderfully alternative way to carry out Christ’s last words? How could that heathen not be convicted of his sinfulness when he can clearly read that God is your co-pilot?

Not only does that statement frightfully diminish the true concept of Christianity into a simple one-liner, but it does not even come close to correct! To say that God is anyone’s co-pilot suggests that you’re headed in the direction you were heading before you met your co-pilot, and you still plan to head that way, occasionally taking suggestions from your co-pilot. This one-liner, as most are, cannot fully encapsulate the new life a God follower is given. But unfortunately, it may very well explain the current idea of a Christian in modern America–that is, a person who wishes to live a good life and attempts this by choosing to adhere to those Christian precepts that do not offend him. But Christians are called to so much more.

A Christian realizes that his life is not only not now his own, but it never was his own. He understands that everything selfish in nature (which includes much more than we can comfortably admit) will lead to his ultimate demise. There is no need to wrestle with the quandary of why a good God might condemn people to Hell because he knows what has truly occurred: man was created with free will, which by its very nature contains the possibility of evil, he decided he would rather do his own thing than what he had been created to do, and ever since has been in a state that is unacceptable to heaven. By default man is condemned, and the transformation into the heavenly being that he was created to be is what God freely offers. The Deceiver has given man the idea that God damns people to Hell for “doing bad things” and we have run with it. But instead of looking at what causes us to do those bad things and asking the maker to fix the machine, we write it off as being “only natural.” What is “only natural” is the hell people will endure who are not acceptable to exist in Heaven. All humans proclaim they wish the world were a better place, but they cannot agree on how to come about this better world. That is where the problems arise. Imagine if God’s hand of restraint were taken off this mortal world. We would indeed bring about Hell on earth.

The secular society is constantly focused on “reaching your potential”, and I am beginning to think the church should take the same viewpoint–with a bit of a twist. Our potential as beings created by God is to be heavenly creatures. We are not yet in this state, none of us are. And no one can get in that state on their own; I think we can all agree on this. The only one qualified to refine a crude being into what he could truly be is the Maker himself, and none other. Good works cannot do it. A person committing good works with the idea that this is salvation will quickly tire himself out, and begin asking, “What is it all for?” But a transformed soul need not ask this question. He is doing these kind deeds to his fellow man because he truly loves them–he wants very much for their ultimate, not temporal, well-being. He does these things because they flow naturally out of a being that understands his utter Pride and selfishness and what he is truly meant to be, and he wants everyone to join him. His joy is not a child’s happiness after getting the candy’s he’s been begging for. No, this is real Joy, pervading through times of utter despair as well as those when happiness can be expected from any man.

Excuse my need for a rant. I had it brought to my attention that I hadn’t posted in quite some time, and so I found it good to write on something that has been a rock in my shoe. It is profane to reduce the saving grace of God to a one-liner, and it constantly makes me ask, “What are they trying to accomplish?” I don’t know. Perhaps they truly believe this is how things are. But I should think a better analogy than insulting God with eternal rights to your shotgun seat would be to imagine yourself blindfolded somewhere in a spaceship directed by God. My advice (with myself as the main recipient) would be to quit trying to take the controls and steer where you’d like in an unfamiliar territory. We really have no idea where we’re going, and that is why we must trust God to take us to the best possible place.

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This week I’ve had the privilege of retreating to my own house for a bit of mental, physical, and spiritual refreshment. C. S. Lewis discusses, in the chapter entitled “The Great Sin” within Mere Christianity, that the center of all Christian virtues lies at the problem of Pride. It is “The Great Sin” not because it is indeed a greater sin in God’s eyes—truly he sees all man’s shortcomings as equally upsetting—but because the vice of Pride can lead to such ultimate demise. As Lewis puts it, “It is the complete anti-God state of mind.” It is Pride that made Satan so devilish. One cannot be prideful while still acknowledging the presence of a holier, more superior being than himself. This is because Pride, in its essential nature, is competitive. While other sins may cause one to be competitive at one time or another, Pride is never without competition. Consider it this way: a prideful man is not content with simply being rich, he must be richer than those around him. “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.” (It should be noted that there is a difference between Pride and the other English usage of the word, as in a man being ‘proud’ of his family. If the meaning comes as ‘an admiration for’, then surely this is not a sin. The fault may come when he believes himself to be better than other fathers based on his family’s fine standing.)

The reason for such a lengthy summary (although anyone who has read Lewis knows it was, in fact, not lengthy at all) was that this chapter reaffirmed my convictions from the night I saw The Passion of the Christ. You may remember in my post “Loads of Silence” that I asked for prayer consideration on my hidden selfish nature. Perhaps it was not so hidden as I had thought. Surely a prideful person thinks himself quite humble, and that others take note of his humility and are in awe of him for it. “If you think you are not conceited, you are very conceited indeed.”

So how are we to break ourselves away from this Pride that so easily brings us demise? I should think the best way is for a constant redirection of our spiritual eyes to God, and with that a realization that, in the presence of God, we are nothing. Truly nothing. God is not impressed by anything we offer, nor do our offerings put God in some sort of debt to us.You do not think that a child who buys a gift for his father using his father’s money has suddenly earned a debt against his father for the small treasure he has essentially given in return. Why then do we assume that a short time of good behavior on our part forces God to return the favor in whatever we ask for?

But in all, I think the first step is “to realize that one is proud… At least, nothing whatever can be done before it.” That realization is what came about the night of The Passion of the Christ; it is what forced me to see myself rightly. I am a greedy little child with but cheap offerings to his Father.

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I’ve got a huge New Testament test tomorrow (or later today I suppose), followed by an equally ravaging Psych test on Friday. But then the weekend is here and Brit’s coming to see me! Woohoo! The good news about all my midterms is that my Survey of Recording Technology test was changed to a take-home test, due the Tuesday after Spring Break, and tomorrow’s 9:30 Rec Tech was canceled. That’ll give me an opportunity to sleep off that dose of espresso I just had. By the way, did you know that if you order an espresso, they give you a tiny cup with about an ounce of scalding hot beverage and a sign with “Sissy” on it to plaster to your forehead? Apparently what I wanted was a latte… who knew?

I’ve had some revelations lately. And that is that I need money—some better source of income. I’m thinking of whoring myself out to Vandy to get $900 for Imodium (with the effects of morphine) testing.

Seriously though, my work at the rock wall has gotten better. It seems as though things I’ve always known are actually being applied now. In the past, when someone told me to do something because I should work at it “as though working for the Lord,” it always seemed to be a form of manipulation to get me to do what they wanted. But since God used the “Passion” to convict me of my selfishness, I’ve begun to see everything in a new light. I may not like working at the rock wall. In fact, I may downright hate it. But today at work I kept being reminded, I presume by the Holy Spirit (I’ve never experienced Him so active before), that it’s not about me. I worked today doing the best at what I was assigned, though I had a headache and was tired. I realized the reason for that too. God desires that we work at everything like we’re working for the Lord because of the witness it gives and the glory it brings to the Father. In the context of the scripture, Colossians 3:22-24, Paul is telling slaves how to live under the rule of their masters (the uncanny parallel to my boss frightens me). He says not only to do it because it will catch their eye, but do perform your task to the best of your ability even when they’re not watching you “because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.” And that is worship.

Reading over my last paragraph, I am dismayed at how utterly trite and cliché it seems. The problem is that my abilities as a writer (poor as they are) cannot fully express the change Christ has begun within me. Perhaps that is because the true Christian life cannot be simply relayed in words. It simply must be experienced.

The world truly has become a different place to me; the whole of it is a wonderful opportunity to bring glory to God through everything I do. I cannot complain about not having enough time for God. My study time may wax and wane, surely it always will, but I am forever in the presence of God. Everything I do is a chance to worship God. It has long been obvious to me that praise songs cannot fully encompass worshiping God, but I haven’t experienced any other way until now. In my day to day, I am truly worshiping God! And none of the credit can go to me! I may have prayed for brokenness, but that is a dangerous prayer to speak. Even now I am not sure I knew the full ramifications of that idea. The total breakdown of myself by Christ completely shifted my focus skyward. A constant theme now runs through my head, “How can I glorify God in this?” Again, I’m not boasting about this change! How could I? Anything positive from me all comes from above! It is not me thinking about not being selfish—that in itself would be selfish thinking. But the Holy Spirit has taken hold of my thoughts and is constantly steering in a direction that means to glorify the Father. Just as with Paul, if I should boast, let me lay out for you all my weaknesses (but I won’t; there are far too many). “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” It is then that my true self is revealed and Christ can work through me; I hesitantly pray for such times to come!

I’ll leave you, tired as you must be from reading this lengthy post, with Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Only then, when you take your focus of yourself, will the Joy you’ve been looking for actually come.

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My song’s have been lacking in all things good lately. I’ve just been in a real slump with songwriting, and I think it has to do with two things: there’s an incredible number of things I must accomplish and the dorm room environment is not conducive to creativity.

I have so many things going on right now. Firstly, there is a massive pressure to get good grades in order to get scholarships so I can stay at Belmont. I also feel a constant need to work on my recording skills. I’ve been told by an accomplished audio engineer that one does not gain a good ear for recording until his 500th hour of mixing. I may have, to be generous, 50 hours following me. In addition to the obvious, there’s also a need to be socially involved, and the dorm life just takes up a large amount of time. (Everyone needs to make the Taco Bell run at least 4 times a week, right?) Lastly–and I list this lastly not because of importance, but due to the order in which I come to it–I desperately need to invest much more time studying God’s word. I am more and more conscious that I need to be prepared for whatever… whenever. I believe I’ve taken for granted the good times that I am now frittering away.

So the second thing: the dorm certainly doesn’t lend itself to creativity. Countless times I’ve been sitting on the crewton with guitar in hand writing all about love, salvation, or ogres, when one of the guys in the hall walks in. Here comes the big dichotomy: I love the community, but it is that community that makes it so difficult to write with any kind of interesting quality. Up until today, it has been far too cold outside to write in the quad, and the Pembroke 2nd hallway is less than desirable for songwriting. Perhaps the apartment next year will allow for more private time whenever I so desire. Perhaps that’s wishful thinking. I’ll look into it all…

All I ask for is “a modestly hot girl to help me through the hard times; you know the kind that are only sorta hot, so they don’t mess around with other guys.”
— Strong Bad

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