The events of the Memphis Road Trip have already been far too monumental to keep them to myself. First off, we’re on our way from Nashville to Memphis, and we hit some massive traffic about 20 miles short of Jackson. After perhaps 10 minutes of the parking lot, we’d only moved a mile or so. But have no fear! The Tennessee Highway Patrol is always there to help! Driving along the highway, and nowhere near an exit, we see ole John Brown standing there directing traffic. I must again reinforce the fact that there was no option except forward. Please allow this idea to sink in before we continue.
After we checked in to our hotel (which was clearly a most excellent option, seeing as how George Clinton and his parliament had also chosen this hotel… yup… I ain’t playin’), we set out to hit the concert site. Unfortunately, we missed the correct exit… and ended up in Arkansas. Clearly we had gone too far. But we didn’t miss the exit because we had no idea where we were””although we didn’t””we missed our exit because there was a car of hot girls, and our cars had begun flirting. The best was when I drove up to them on their left side and Chun put some man-nipple pressed against the glass. They freaked. Hilarity ensued.
Within an hour of arriving on the concert site, we’d already had several hilarious encounters. First””and when I say Old Guy, I really mean Old Guy””there’s this Old Guy dancing in front of us, plastered as all get out, and taking pictures with the high schoolers. What’s sad is that Old Guy was probably already old when this booze-and-reefer-at-concerts culture started back in the 60’s and 70’s.
Then there’s Drunk Guy on a Rascal. If you think drunk driving is dangerous… get a load of this guy! He’s powering through a crowd of people, bowling people over “˜cause he can’t control his rotary acceleration on the handlebars. There nothing more frightening than a Drunk Guy on a Rascal headed straight at you.
Well, that’s all I can think of for now. I just thought it necessary to record all this before we back to the concerts tonight and get second-hand high and forget it all.
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