Oh! I was unaware that the New York Times had gotten into the comedy business! Apparently a certain Daniel Altman thought he’d write a modest little column about how he knows the real deal with Social Security.
Here’s where the comedy lies:
Many people receive just as much money back from Social Security in retirement - or more - as they would have if they had invested their contributions in the market. For them, Social Security is a saving device.
Ha Ha! Now in what market would he say these unfortunate investors are partaking? Because if you’re saving for retirement in single stocks, you deserve to see your hard-earned money swirl down the drain. That risky business is for day-traders. Come on folks, invest in mutual funds through an IRA. It’s not that hard.
Anyway, my beef with Social Security isn’t that I think it won’t be able to provide for my retirement. I’m fully confident that it won’t be enough for me to retire on, if I get any benefits at all! Expecting Social Security to be there is a bad idea, period. I’ll plan for my own retirement, and if it’s there, that’s gravy.
My problem is that it’s my money that the government has taken–since I was 15 and will take until I retire–into a collective trust (you don’t think you’ve actually got an account, do you?) and used as their rainy-day fund for years. Now we all know Uncle Sam’s compulsion to buy what he cannot afford and never pay the debt. And that’s why Social Security has failed and cannot be fixed within the current system. It must be put into true accounts for my money that Washington can’t touch. Because even if they promise not to, given the opportunity, they will dip back into that fund. That’s right, both parties. (You know they weren’t supposed to in the first place, right? What makes you think they’ll stick to their word from here on out? Future administrations are very likely to reverse promises made by this administration–if this one doesn’t beat them to it).
My confusion is this: where did sudden throngs of people come from that have this inconceivable faith in the system? We’ve known for a while that it doesn’t work. We’re all hacked off at Washington for mismanaging our money in general, but we think that letting them keep it or have some more will magically fix the problem. Yet these lawmakers that are frothing at the mouth over the Bush proposal, complete with a diatribe about the president wanting to gamble with our money, are some of the same idiots that pass a lottery and allow massive advertising campaigns to be centered on the poorest communities in our nation! If congressional Democrats really believed in the system, rather than just having a rabid hate for Bush, they wouldn’t have backed Clinton all throughout his administration when there was “the looming fiscal crisis.” But apparently we’re okay now. All better!
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